Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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