As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
