It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
