pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
