K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
