her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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