shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
zippers are such a cool invention
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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