Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
