I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
