David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
