u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i will never coherently bang her
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
