i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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