Walk of Shame. In a state park.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
