the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
