wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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