Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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