Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
