After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
