They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
