im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
i think my cat just said my name.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize
