Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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