Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
