6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
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