Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
