FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
