I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
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