Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
