Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Randomize
