fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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