i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
