I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
