That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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