He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
im on a boat
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