If that was your dad, he is hot
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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