Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
