Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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