u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Operation Purity has been aborted
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
