Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
