I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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