I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
