we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
