Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
