I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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