The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
