we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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