I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
