would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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