your room smells of hookers.
And success
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
