I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize