were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
