So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
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When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
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He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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