I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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