he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
did i just pee glitter
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize