There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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