well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
