can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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