Those balls look pretty dangerous.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize
