Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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