I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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