i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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