Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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