Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
We're like a lot better than the average bears
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Randomize
