The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
