idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
