is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
