I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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