You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
