i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
