After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
